American Tourist

Now a little Geography lesson. County Clare is perched on the West Coast of Ireland with the Atlantic ocean pounding on the West. The serene River Shannon to the East and South and Galway Bay to the North. It has the longest and shortest bridges in Ireland. Sixmilebridge and Inchbridge. It has the awesome beauty of the Burren. And of course the best pubs in the world a selection of which and a story attached to each. Durty Nellies, perched on a bridge over the river Fergus between Shannon and Limerick it is famous for its tourism and a 12th Century Norman Castle (Bunratty Castle) where they hold medieval banquets to cater for all the Americans mad to find their “roots”. These Americans were usually attired in the prerequisite Aran Sweater and green trousers asking you if you knew their great grand pappy.

Case in point, one particularly loud American Gentleman was regaling me at the bar. He was buying  and it would have been rude to take my pint and run..

“I never knew you Irish were so practical” Boomed he
“Oh” sighed I
“Yes, I see you built that Castle right next to the highway” my eyes were rolling at a man with little grasp of history. “Anyway son what’s the right way to drink this pint of Guinness” drawled he

Now I could have taken time to tell him that the body must be drank through the head with the arm at the right elevation and to try not to drink the head.

“All in one go” says I
“Go on Wilbur” extolled his wife
“Ok Wilma” he says

Fair play to him he manfully attempted to down the whole lot in one go and got about ¾ of the way down and replaced the glass on the counter with a deep sigh. “10 9  8….” Started I in my head,  I didn’t reach 6 when he made an undignified rush to the toilet.

“Good” says I to Wilma
“What’s good” said a worried Wilma
“Now he knows why we built our toilets so close to the bar” says I